Ok, tonight’s the last night of smoking. Tomorrow I start being smoke free.

I’ve given over the last two packs of cigarettes I have to Jonna – she’ll try to get rid of them tomorrow at work rather than throw them away (they’re expensive!).

I’m kind of encouraged by my mood yesterday and today. It was really dark. That is a very good thing, because that means that last nights post did what I thought it would. I committed in public, so there is no going “eh, maybe tomorrow”. Public commitment is a bitch.

Kelsi is really happy. She’s waited for this for some time. Jonna and I talked briefly today about it during lunch and she is looking forward to me spending less time in the garage – me too.

I’m getting ready for the trip to Orlando tomorrow. It should be interesting. Trip to the airport in the car that I have been smoking in non-stop for 3 years. I smoke when I’m bored – that includes the usual 1:15 commute – each way. Maybe I’ll drive with the windows open – it was 58 today.

More tomorrow. I should be in a GREAT mood.

I started smoking at 15, which puts me at about 25 years as a smoker. I’ve decided, once January 1st hit and the big “ban” went into effect to try and quit smoking. I think it also helps that I have a conference to go to in Disney, which is as of June of 2007 completely non-smoking – no smoking rooms are even available anymore. This by itself was I think the clincher for me, as it has just become too inconvenient for me to keep doing what I’ve been doing.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the process of quitting smoking – and one of the key components of being successful is to want to quit. I have to say that, really, deep down – I don’t want to – except to save myself the inconvenience that smokers now face in order to get their “fix”. I also am no longer really fond of going out in the cold – or the mere fact of being dependent on it.

And that worries me. I do want to be successful because the taxes and jumping through hoops to find somewhere to do it these days has become unbearable. But I am not at all convinced that I want to quit for the right reasons.

In any event, I thought that at least blogging about the process – whether successful or unsuccessful might be a good thing to do. For one, it will give me some skin in the game. It will be hard to get up here and write that I am smoking again. For two, it will give some insight into some of the things that go on in peoples heads when they try to force themselves to quit.

I hope to blog about all of the mood swings and other things that happen when a 25 year heavy smoker decides to quit. Hopefully others who are trying to do the same thing will get some solace from the fact that they are not alone.

So, Monday is the big day. Thats when I’m starting to stop. I’ve decided to try the patch to make the odds a little more in my favor. Over the past week I’ve been talking to others who have either tried to quit or have known people who have. I’ve gotten the following advice:

• Start the patch Sunday evening. Apparently the urge to smoke in the morning will be too strong and you may not start in time
• Buy gum, toothpicks, etc to help with the behavioral pieces of smoking. Doing something with your hands seems to be one of the things that people falter with.
• Be prepared for huge mood swings

I already chew gum all the time, so I don’t think that will help. I will be starting the patch at bedtime tomorrow night though, and I’m really not so sure that toothpicks will help – but I may try them.

I think that the biggest piece of leverage that I am looking at right now as the most value is the one I’m doing now. Making sure I have enough skin in the game by getting what I am doing out there to friends / family so that I won’t back down from it.

Wish me luck.